Rise of the Zombies Review
Rise of the Zombies is a 2012 American zombie horror film from The Asylum (who brought us Sharknado and are bringing us Zoombies soon). It’s not to be confused with Hindi movie, Rise Of The Zombie.I guess you are more likely to have people watch your movie if you have a picture of badass Danny Trejo on the cover than if you had a picture of a middle-aged Mariel Hemmingway who is the real star of the movie and I use both the word star and movie lightly. I this so I am writing this Rise of the Zombies review so you don’t have to. This movie is even worse than
I guess you are more likely to have people watch your movie if you have a picture of badass Danny Trejo on the cover than if you had a picture of a middle-aged Mariel Hemmingway who is the real star of the movie and I use both the word star and movie lightly. I this so I am writing this Rise of the Zombies review so you don’t have to watch it. This movie is even worse than Navy SEALs vs. Zombies, which I just reviewed a few days ago.
Rise of the Zombies starts off in the middle of a zombie apocalypse with a group of people speeding through the streets of San Francisco hoping to get to Alcatraz which they seem to believe is some type of safe haven. They are driving recklessly fast for no apparent reason except perhaps that the story required them to crash the car. And there is a spectacular crash with a the car rolling over a lot and surprisingly the only survivor was a very pregnant woman.
The cast is pretty good with tough guy Danny Trejo, Mariel Hemingway and Ethan Suplee playing big roles. I’d say the dialog let them down but they didn’t really seem to be making an effort. Sometimes there was so little emotion in their voices that it looked like the dialog was recorded separately and added later. Back to the writing again. It was like it was written by a teenager with no writing experience. That bugs me really because clearly they have money enough for a decent cast and reasonable special effects. Why couldn’t they get a good story?
The whole movie was a bit of a let down really with holes in the plot big enough for a zombie horde to work through. The zombie makeup is pretty good but in some scenes they move around like kids pretending to be zombies, arms straight out and doing the zombie shuffle. The fight scenes were poorly choreographed and just a bit silly. And the soundtrack, if you could call it that, the background music, was terrible.
They try to shock us with scenes of self-mutilation and baby zombies but it’s not really all that shocking. The zombies seem to be able to swim, they can run but some do some don’t and they can climb. They are good at that…sometimes. They can swim out and climb up the legs of the Golden Gate bridge but get stuck at a chainlink fence.
A water-borne virus has led to a widespread outbreak of zombies in San Francisco.
How to kill the zombies
Destroy the brain. Electrocution seems to work too.
I don’t think they use the word zombie. I don’t remember and I don’t care enough to watch it again.